Find the Exit: brofiction
by LuvANerd
Summary: a man finds himself in a castle with no previous memory and tries to escape (dialogue based off of PewDiePie; it is highly recommended to read it in his voice and pretend he's the mystery man) [If this story inspires you to create fanart, please let me know! My deviantart and fanfiction is both under LuvANerd]


**BROFICTION**

My eyes snapped open then shut instantly, cringing from the pounding sensation in my head. I wanted to scream, but my burning throat convinced me otherwise. After a few moments, the headache subsided, and I was able to pull myself from the fetal position I was in. I sat up cross-legged and placed my palms on the stone ground. I quickly retreated my hands; the ground was freezing, and it burned my palms like dry ice. It seemed all of my senses were on the fritz; I could see perfectly despite the only source of light was the moon's filtering through the ivory curtains that hung lazily on the three tall windows in front of me. My sense of smell was at a high as well, and I swallowed from the decaying stench that crawled into my nostrils. It was coming from a hallway that turned right. I turned my head to the right, in the direction of the smell, and noticed the surprising lack of furniture in the corridor I was seated in. The only items hung on the walls besides the curtains was a large portrait. It seemed like an ordinary oil painting of the renassance era, but there was something off about it. I stood up and grimanced from the sound of many of my joints popping all at once, I must've been on the ground for a few hours, and walked towards the artwork. It displayed a man in a brown cloth tunic and headress, with a rope around his waist that acted as a holster, as proved with a silver sword that rested on his hip. His dark bangs was slightly noticeable, and his features were heroic; he only looked to be in his mid 20's. Small stubble was around his face like a 5'oclock shadow and his emerald eyes gleamed as if they were just painted earlier this morning. Surrounding him were pyraminds of gold bricks stacked above his head. The title "King of Thieves" aroused in my mind and I smiled at the man. He looked oddly familiar though, as if I had seen him before.

A sudden rush of cold wind caused my attention to shift back to the hallway that contained the peculiar smell. As much as I didn't want to know, I knew I had to investigate. Who knows, my escape route could be waiting for me on the other end. I walked with caution and purpose, and with my raised senses I was able to see in the pitch-black. A burgandy embroidered rug ran the length of the hallway, and a small wooden square table held a knight's helmet on it. I stopped and looked at the item. It was the only object on the table, but it bothered me. I growled slightly at it and felt my anger start to boil.

"I... don't... TRUST YOU!" I yelled and smacked the light helmet, causing it to fly down the hallway and hit a side wall with a clang. I marched over to it and smirked at the fair sized dent in the top of it.

I honestly don't know why I did it, but it felt right. I was glad this seemingly unimportant item was...defeated? Yes, that's the right word; defeated. I continued to walk down the hallway and snickered underneath my breath. I would've laughed, if it wasn't for my sandpaper throat that was now on fire from the tantrum.

An aged wooden door sat snug in the end of the corridor, and the stench smelled horrid. Whatever it was, I knew the owner of the smell was definitely in that room. I looked down at the door and tested the lock. It opened with ease. I brushed the cobwebs out of the doorframe and entered the room. It was considerably small and was only capable of holding two wardrobes and a table. I walked over to the table and saw it was cluttered with papers, manilla folders, pens, bottles, and a feather pen in an inkwell. In the middle of the table sat a note that appeared freshly written, though there was no way it could've been, what with all of the cobwebs that was hung in the entrance. My brain kicked into a third gear however, and I started looking around the floor and ceiling. _There has to be another entrance. _I thought. My mind was refusing the normal forms of logic. If the note looked new, then it must've been recently written. And if it was recent, and there were cobwebs blocking the only obvious entrance, then there had to be a _second_ opening, possibly a trapdoor in the floor or ceiling. I jerked the table to the side and searched, but I didn't let my excitement...excitement? No...no. I'm not excited. I'm better than excited...anyways, I didn't let myself become discouraged when I didn't find anything. I walked over to the wardrobes and noticed something metal. Upon further inspection I noticed it was a metal ring. Not one to wear, but it was similar to that of a door knocker, or a handle, and attached to that handle was a wooden 3'x3' square. A trapdoor! I pulled on the handle and noticed it wouldn't budge. A small keyhold was fitted beside the handle, keeping the passageway locked. I couldn't break the door; I might need it to cover my tracks. I stood up and decided to check through the wardrobes. I pulled the first one on my left and, then the one on my right. It didn't give me the key, but it did show me the source of the decaying smell. A dead pig was tossed into the wardrobe, and it was in the middle of decomposing. Some of it's ribs and skull was visible. For some reason however, I was excited to see it. I picked up the pig and smiled. Something glinted behind the corpse, and I noticed it was the key! I dropped the pig and picked up the metal object and did a fist pump into the air.

"Yes!" I whispered. I was definitely more than just excited, but I couldn't describe the feeling. I looked at the pig and thought about the fist pump. Pump...excited...pumped...that's it! _I'm pumped! I'm so fricken PUMPED! _I thought happily, and I smiled down at the dead pig. It appeared to smile back at me, as if silently congratulating me for understanding my emotion.

I returned my attention to the trapdoor in the ground. It was no surprise to me when the key unlocked the door with no struggle. I opened it and saw that a metal yellow painted ladder led down into the underground. I smelled a mixture of sulfur, water, and decayed flesh. It led to a sewer. I went down into the watery room anyway; I had to escape from this building somehow. Before I left the small room, however, I grabbed the note that had falled to the ground and stuffed it into my pocket. I decided to read it later, in hopes to discover who wrote it and if they could help me escape. I climbed down the small ladder and landed with a small splash into the ankle deep water. My ankles felt blue in an instant; it was as if Death was simply running a bath for me. Torn limbs were scattered around the hallway, and I noticed that it bended to the left at the end of it. Small boxes were floating around as well. I made my breaths shallow and slowly reached forward to grab a limb. I held the fleshy object in my hand and jumped onto a nearby box. I knew I had to be swift. But for what...it didn't matter. I jumped onto another box that was near the wall, and I pushed myself down the hallway. Again, my mind denied logic, as I was able to remain afloat despite the lack of water. I continued down the corridor and almost reached the corner. In an instant, I flung the limb towards the ladder behind me as far as I could, and as soon as I heard the splash of it hitting the water's surface I made a mad dash around the corner and down the hallway. A concrete platform was 100 yards in front of me, and I moved as fast as my body willed. I shut my eyes as I heard larger splashes behind me. It was done eating, and it was coming for me next. It wanted something moving. I stomped the ground and continued running until my foot slammed hard against the concrete platform. I tripped and smacked my head against the grainy texture of the platform and blacked out.

I must've been only for only mere seconds. I awoke to the sound of the splashes behind me, and I stood up in time to not lose my feet to the creature. The splashes grew more violent at my feet, then subsided. I was alone once again. I chuckled and wiped at my nose; surely it must've been broken. I looked at my hand and noticed it was clean of blood. That was strange, but I didn't let it bother me. Remembering the note I pulled it out and was happy to see only a few wet spots on it. I could still easily read the print.

_*For many, they have no need to leave.*_

_**In other cases, they demand to breathe.**_

_***No one can depart, they've already lost.***_

_****Danger in exchange for their lives was the cost.****_

I only mildly questioned the ominous poem, since I had to continue my quest. This was fun indeed, and today, I felt invincible.

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I was able to enter the next room and was greeted by a wide staircase leading up to a second story (or rather, the first story, since I had just exited from the underground). I took my time ascending the staircase, but a thought rushed into my mind, causing me to stop. Curiously, I raised my left foot and rotated my ankle. I felt no pain, despite the run-on it had with the concrete slab. I snickered almost deviously at my newfound strength; I couldn't be harmed. Or my nerves had been shot, causing me to go into a state of shock for a short while. I decided to worry about it later, or never. Either way, I continued up the stairs until I reached what appeared to be a parlor. A large golden candle chandelier hung in the middle of the round room, illuminating the pearl floor and columns with a golden hue. Large windows covered with a thin metal latticework lined the entire room. On the left and right side of the room held a cherry polished door with a golden ornate handle. An ivory pedestal stood in front of every other column, and on each pedestal an emerald fern rested in a rose colored round pot. The entire setting was simple, yet extravagant at the same time. But I don't pay attention to details, so I ignored the scenery and continued my way. I glided over to the middle of the room and turned my head both ways to examine the doors. _Which direction should I go? _I thought to myself, and I started to silently chant.

"Ole, dole, doff..." I muttered turning my head slightly to the left, then the right, and back to the left. "Kinke, lane, koff..." I continued the strange words turning my head from side to side. "Koffe, lane, binke, bane, ole, dole, doff." My head looked towards the left door and I strided towards it confidently. I tested the handle and noticed it opened easily. Inside was another small room that held nothing in it except for a brown wooden door that held a large padlock on the handle. It appeared rusted; I wouldn't be using any key to open it. I sighed and decided to check the other room. I walked across the parlor and entered the room on the other side. It was a little larger than the previous, but it was still difficult to walk around comfortably inside it. A small table and chair was pushed against the top-right corner and a small furnace was against the back wall a on the left side. I walked over to the furnance and opened it. A few embers glowed red and illuminated a silver object. I reached in carefully and pulled it out. Just then a gush of wind blew from the furnace and it sent burning embers into my eyes! I yelped and cursed and clawed at my eyes, dropping whatever was in my hand in the process. Finally the pain subsided to a dull itch. I huffed slightly from the ordeal, and I was thankful to finally see after a few agonizing minutes. My eyes did not water, however, and for some reason that made me grateful. I picked out any lingering ashes and looked towards the ground to search for the mysterious item I had recently dropped. It had skidded behind me into a corner, and I picked it up with my index finger and thumb and held it up to view it. After inspection of the peculiar item, I realized it was a hollow needle. I smiled, knowing I could use this to easily pick the lock to the door and discover what rested on the other side. I stood up and walked towards the small table. It was seemingly bare compared to the previous table I had seen. A dark green placemat was underneath another note that appeared newly written, with a feather pen and inkwell to the right of it. Some drops of ink were on the placemat. I touched the dots and noticed they imprinted onto my finger, signaling that they were spilled only mere minutes ago. Excitement ripped through my spine as I thought about finally meeting the strange author of the notes. I picked up the note and read it instantly.

_********Eternal fire burns in the defeated********_

_*********X's etched across the dead's faces*********_

_**********Inside they scream to be meeted**********_

_***********To be no longer within their cases**********_

This note was just as strange as the previous one as well, but I knew it had meaning to it. It held a great _importance. _A lit candle was also on the table, and only a single drop of wax dripped from it, further proving my conclusion. The light reflected off of a golden figurine that, too, rested on the table; I was naturally curious so I picked it up. It was a small man bent on one knee, holding out his sword with its blade pointed towards the ground that rested on a gold base. I recognized the figurine to the man in the painting I had seen when I had first entered the castle (I feel I can safely assume it's a castle based on the architectural design). I grinned and held him up to my face.

"Allos, I am Stephano." I mimicked a French accent for the figurine's voice. "I 'ave been in dis castle for so long. It's nice to finally 'ave some company."

"Well, hello Stephano." I said to him, still smiling.

"I will help you escape from this castle, just trust me." he said. I nodded and chuckled at the trophy.

"I think we'll get along just fine, my friend." I walked with him into the parlor and headed towards the door.

"Wait! You need to look be'ind the fern! There's a lantern you need in order to see in the next room!" Stephano said suddenly. I stopped and look at the figurine.

It was myself talking to myself, but why would I tell myself to do something if I don't actually know? My head swam slightly, but I shrugged it off. I must know what I'm doing. _After all, I have Stephano with me to help guide the way._ I thought. I walked over to the nearest fern and reached behind it. I grabbed something cold and metallic, and I smiled. I retrieved a lantern from behind the plant and shook it. A faint splashing sound revealed that it contained oil; I couldn't help but feel as if whoever left the note left this as well just for me. I smiled from my luck...luck? No...no, this was no luck...with this statue, I can be sure to make my escape. I don't know how, and frankly I don't care, but as long as I have Stephano, then I can discover any remaining notes or keys until I finally leave this place. Who knows? I might just take him with me.

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**X**

_*****Tomorrow's tears dripped across their sorrowful sighs*****_

_******He does not remember; he doesn't know why******_

_*******Everlasting amnesia ends their lives*******_

**X**

My brain's been getting foggier. I can't remember how I got here, but I do know I'm on an outer wall. I can feel the cold wind from the winter outside; at least now I know what season it is in this hell hole. I clutch onto Stephano and my lantern, which has gone out a few times. But he found me more oil and this slip of paper. He's always there for me, Stephano. The lantern has grown dim, and my eyesight has been failing recently. The last thing I remember is exiting the parlor and going down a set of rickety stairs. I was almost to the bottom when they broke and sent me spiraling down into a dry well. I had to dig to escape. Now I'm in some protective wall layering between the inside of the castle and the outside world. I huff a little in anger of myself. That must've been at least three months ago! Why can't I simply remember which door I had entered or which passageway I have not yet crossed?

"Don't worry, we'll getchu out of 'ere." Stephano says in a form of pitied comfort. My voice has grown hoarse from Stephano using it to communicate with me.

Oh, I know what you're all thinking, and I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. I'm not crazy. I just need to get out of here and smell a little fresh air and I'll be good as new. A fairly well sized lunch wouldn't hurt, either. I haven't eaten in days...come to think of it, I haven't eaten since I first woke up in the castle. My stomach feels a pain in it, but I'm not hungry. I guess this is one of the "blessings" of the castle, allowing you to not worry about your personal needs as you go on your quest. A pitch blackness engulfs me, and I scream in desperation. My oil has run out!

"God, DAMNIT! Stephano, why didn't you tell me I was running out of oil! You USELESS piece of SHIT!" I throw the small statue as far as I can in front of me, and I'm surprised when I don't hear a thunk of the metal hitting the beaten ground of dirt. Instead, I hear a splash, followed by a sickening hissing noise. I dash towards the sound, and after my eyes adjust to the dark, I notice where he has landed.

A barrel is sitting upright and filled with acid. I can smell the toxic fumes strangle me, even though I am a step away from it. I peer in. I should just walk away, I should ignore the bubbles that sizzle in desperation, as Stephano screams for me in my head. But...I can't leave my friend, after all that we've been through. I just can't...

So I go after him. Now now, don't worry, I still have _some_ sense in me. I'm not about to stick my arm into a three-foot barrel of pure acid. No, I have a better idea. I slam my shoulder and put all of my weight against the barrel, causing it to tip over. With sheer luck and strength, I send it spilling over, covering the floor with the dangerous and toxic chemical. I run to the mouth of the barrel and search for my dear companion. The acid sinks its teeth deep into my skin, causing me to howl with pain. But I continue to search, and finally I succed. I pick up the statue and hold it up in victory. There isn't a speck of erosion done on him.

"I-I knew you wouldn't leave me." Stephano coughs, happy to see me again.

So we continue. I ignore my injuries; they had subsided almost instantly. I notice over to my right sits a doorway that is also dark. Thunder cracks outside, and my heart leaps with joy. A bolt of lightning appeares in the distance, illuminating the "room". Outside! I have escaped! I run out, laughing and crying (my throat is still on fire), and I hold up my face to the rain and close my eyes. For once, I feel like I can finally breathe.

...Something isn't quite right about the whole situation. _I can't be done now... _ I think. Sure, my trials were difficult, but I was able to survive them all well. In fact, the whole quest felt too _easy _for me. I'm missing something; it's not over yet, it can't be. I scan the area around me. Everything feels like it is moving towards and away from me at the same time. I stumble aimlessly around in the wooden area where I am, but I can't discover anything. I start to laugh like a madman, throwing my arms into the air.

"Alright! Where's the credits?!" I yell to no one, referencing this like a game. A sick game. I laugh and continue on my way, when a small light reflects from my periphials. A few yards away rests a small cabin with its porch light on. I stumble and trip my way until I finally make it to the doorstep.

Inside is cozy, but incredibly small. It is like someone had makeshifted this room from an outhouse; only a small table, candle, and mirror is able to fit. I walk over to the table and pull out my three notes. I try to make sense of them and my brow furrows in frustration.

"This makes no sense!" I exclaim.

"It's a puzzle." Stephano says. I look at him, then back at the notes.

I look closely at the edges of each line, and notice that there are a certain number of asterisks attached to each line. I count each asterisk. 2,4,6,8...I place the last note I had recieved underneath the first. 10,12, 14...I attach the last note to the bottom 16, 18, 20, 22...I look at the poem carefully.

_*For many, they have no need to leave.*_

_**In other cases, they demand to breathe.**_

_***No one can depart, they've already lost.***_

_****Danger in exchange for their lives was the cost.****_

**X**

_*****Tomorrow's tears dripped across their sorrowful sighs*****_

_******He does not remember; he doesn't know why******_

_*******Everlasting amnesia ends their lives*******_

**X**

_********Eternal fire burns in the defeated********_

_*********X's etched across the dead's faces*********_

_**********Inside they scream to be meeted**********_

_***********To be no longer within their cases**********_

"There's got to be some pattern..." I mutter, looking over the new note carefully. Suddenly, I remember a trick used back in grade school. In order to write secret notes, we'd start each random sentence with the letter we needed. To most people, it appeared like jibberish, while we were able to read the actual message. I slowly read the simple phrase in my mind.

It's as if something had clicked into my mind. Memories flood back, as if some veil had been lifted off of my eyes. These notes...I had written them for me, to help guide myself to the end. In case my amnesia had returned...

I chuckle, slowly at first, then I escalate into a piercing scream. I stop suddenly, and look up. There, in front of my face, stands a man. A long-forgotten, confused man. A corpse, living on in its memories. He has ratted hair, sunken cheeks, and burns across his mouth and ears. His eyes are hollowed out, as if he had clawed them, and he holds a small statue in his right hand and a broken lantern in his left. He looks up at me and smiles, and I can't help but smile back. Back at this man. Back at this corpse. Back at my reflection.


End file.
